I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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