Having a random hookup so left but love u
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize