lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
