Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize