Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
