Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
