Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize