But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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