what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
