Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just pee around me
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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