Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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