what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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