the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
