take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
