you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So vagazzling was a success
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
