Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
