i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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