oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
