Having a random hookup so left but love u
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
