Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
