I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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