windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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