office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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