What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
