i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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