dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
