She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize