what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Panties = found
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
