Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
