If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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