the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize