some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We got so high we made milksteak
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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