apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
