This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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