i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
...so i touched it.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize