matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
