Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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