arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
