i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
