worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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