The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
