Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
