yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
