He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
