even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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