what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize