Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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