he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
