sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
