just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
