If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
