We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
