I puked a lego.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
