just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
