Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
