can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
