Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
