woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
