so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
no you cant smoke seaweed
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
