I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When did angry sex become our thing?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
