Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize