No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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