And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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