You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
