i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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