I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
