FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
