i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
