you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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