You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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