Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
