Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
