Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
